Email from Sandra

I got the sweetest email from Sandra yesterday. She wrote that Pili hated having ink on her hands for those hand/foot prints. She didn't cry, but she stared at it and held her hands out to her as if to say "What is this?". She wanted it cleaned off right away and then checked her hands thoroughly to make sure they were completely clean.

She also wrote that she cried when she say the picture I sent of Lily holding hands with my dad. She wrote that someday it will be Pili in that photo walking away with her grandfather.

And that Pili "is identifying incredibly with Veronica" (the foster mom) and that she cries when she can not see her. I had asked in a previous email if she thought, based on Willow's personality, if it would terribly difficult for her to go with me. She said "I believe that the separation is going to be very hard for the two. I believe that for you also because she perhaps cry like he did him Lily. That good that acquired experience with Lily and he will know that to do and that finally she will be well. This calms me because itself that in the end Pili be on good terms with you." Understand there are translation problems because I use an online, free site that is sketchy at best. I can usually get the gist, which I'm sure is all she can do with what I send to her.

How can I dread the day that I am more excited about than anything else in the world? It's the strangest place to be. I ache for these people and for Willow - not that I wouldn't jump on the chance to get her TODAY if I could. But as long as I have no control, I don't mind that we're putting it off for her. I know. I know. It only gets harder for her as time goes on. It makes no sense - but what about mothering ever does?!