Staying distracted. Staying focused.

There are approximately 2000 families still in the same situation Willow and I are in - waiting for PGN to approve and release our files. Current rumors are that PGN is going to interview every birth mother before releasing files; however some believe that they will release the easily approvable files within the coming weeks as they complete interviewing the rest of the birth mothers.

I am no longer calm - I am officially back to being obsessed. My agency notified me last week that I must pay additional money because of the length of time Willow has been in foster care. While I understand these issues are out of the bureaucracy's control, it's adding insult to injury: "You're not getting your baby home anytime soon. Oh, and you need to pay more money because of it." I'm not alone, thankfully. I've been reading online about so many families having to pay, I actually inquired with my agency about it before they contacted me. The good news is that they are fighting against paying all that my attorney is asking and they're willing to cover part of the additional cost for the families they're representing. If there was some end in sight, I wouldn't feel so frantic, but there has not been a single file released from PGN in over 3 weeks.

So, I focus on Lily. I am reminded every day that all of this waiting and worrying has a purpose and is quickly forgotten when that new little person joins our family. Here's what Lily and I did this weekend to stay busy and as preoccupied as I can be:

Farmer's Market - corn on the cob for breakfast:

Children's Museum - Lily's favorite is almost always the bubbles. Although the rooftop artpark is open for the season and she spent a long, long time out there Friday night. She also LOVES to boss other kids around in the construction site thing - it gets a little embarrassing.

We went to the Peace Garden and Rose Garden near Lake Harriet. Sort of ironic I know.
Crowning princess Dandeflower. She will not say Dandelion. I have received countless bouquets of dandeflowers this spring! We spent far longer at this little weed patch than we did in either of the other gardens. We saw a wedding party having pictures taken and Lily asked me if the beautiful girl was going to a castle after she got married.

We went to a Saints game on Saturday night. We were in our seats for about 40 minutes - most of the night was spent in line getting tickets, in line for the bathroom, and at the little playground area in the ball field.
This morning we went to Como zoo. I regret to report that Lily's favorite part was the rides. Before I was a parent I swore my child would never go on rides at the zoo - those days are over.

More pictures

Pili will have to go through yet another interview with PGN. I am so disappointed - for her birth mother to have to face her yet again, and for the time it will add to this whole thing. We still are not back in PGN.

Sandra wrote that Pili still has the 6 teeth - I had asked if there were more. She said Pili loves to watch Barney and loves to dance to one of the CDs I sent to them. With part of the money I sent to them (through my agency) they are going to buy her a birthday cake. Her birthday is June 4. Dang.

More delays

PGN is interviewing all birth mothers prior to approving adoptions. This is in addition to the social worker interview which every adoption goes through at the very beginning of the process. The pictures above are from the Guatemala press this morning. Biological mothers were summoned to appear before large crowds including the media, the PGN official comleting the interview, the child, attorney, and foster mother. The interviews are very simple, apparently including basically two questions: "Are you the biological mother of this child?" and "Do you still wish to relinquish this child?"

The reasons for the additional interview are:

• To weed out corruption. The birth mother has to affirm that she is in fact the baby's biological mother and that she still wishes to relinquish the child.



• To rule our coersion and/or bribery.



• To eventually speed up the process to eliminate other forms of investigation.

My prayer, today, is that Willow's birth mother doesn't need to complete a THIRD interview because she was just interviewed in the Minor's division of PGN as part of the extra investigation that all minor (under 18 yrs. of age) birth mothers go through. She's already told the social worker and the PGN she is doing this of free will.

New pictures from Sandra

She wanted me to see the "form" or "position" Willow takes her bottle. Looks simple enough. I believe I can handle this.

Does anyone else think this kid keeps getting cuter?! I think part of it is that she's getting more hair, but come ON - she's adorable! I do not know how to explain the fact that I am content looking at these pictures and knowing I'm not as close to bringing her home as I had thought. I know that she is happy and healthy and I know that this situation is much, much bigger than our little story. Because I have Lily, I know that it is worth all the waiting and wondering. As I say all too often: I know that "it'll be fine in the end. If it's not fine, it's not the end." I go to sleep wondering what Pili is doing and I wake up wondering if she's awake yet. I stand in her room and try to imagine her there. But it is not with sadness, it's with a strange sense of peace. I started feeling this calm about a month ago and it remains! I'm not making any promises about how long it might last (and I do have my moments of anguish), but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. And so are my family and friends!

I'm still not back in PGN and probably won't be for a couple of weeks. Now it is predicted that PGN will be virtually frozen for up to a month while they continue to review files.

Those four women I've been writing about, who are on the hunger strike in Guatemala? There are rumors that they are being paid to stage the whole thing. One of the Guatemala forums I frequent contacted the women and offered to post pictures of their babies in order to help find them. None of the women nor their representatives have responded to many offers of help. There is some speculation that they are being paid by a type of lobbyist in Guatemala who is anti-international adoption. As you can imagine, there are many.

So, the saga continues. We've all learned more than we ever wanted to about the politics of a developing country. Thanks, as always, for sharing my journey.

I am pictured below with Senator Klobuchar and my friend Sigrid. Sigrid is a single mom to a beautiful 3 year old daugther from China (who looks exactly like Lily). We met on a walk one day near my old house in Brooklyn Center. She is currently waiting for a baby girl (born last March) from Guatemala (who does NOT look exactly like Willow. Whew!).
I was able to meet with Senator Klobuchar and a large group of parents waiting to adopt from Vietnam and Guatemala today. There is absolutely nothing the American Government can or should do to help us right now, but the Senator assured Guatemala parents that things will be OK. She met with the President Colom and his wife (who is going to play an active role in Guatemalan adoptions) last week and was assured that things in PGN will pick up speed in the coming weeks. I am always eager to participate in these discussions in case I need help at some point and to share Willow's story with anyone willing to listen. I still believe the stall at PGN is necessary right now and I am not arrogant enough to think that we Americans should be given any special treatment. I'd like to believe Willow deserves it, but the truth is that this picture is bigger than either of us.

I was reminded today that this battle is not about finding babies for families, but finding families for babies. This baby has found her family and that is what we are fighting to protect. With all due to respect to the government officials in Guatemala: This baby has found her family and all potential law changes should honor that above all else! Can I just write it one more time, dear reader? THIS BABY HAS FOUND HER FAMILY!